It
had never occurred to me to use the word *‘Honorificabilitudinitatibus’
in
any inordinate way, especially when writing of lust’s power
over
the heads and hearts of men, even if the story were of a comical
nature.
Yet I am transfixed by its sheer unabated enormity,
its
immense proclivity towards twisting the tongue of any disingenuous
orator.
I can only imagine a theatre filled to the brim with an audience
suffering
from Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia; such an audience
would
go screaming into the night after Costard’s use of
‘Honorificabilitudinitatibus’
not
even bothering to ask for their money back. Such a hypocritical
use
of a word in a social situation would surely give brief power
to
its enunciator, however it could only be surpassed in breathe, girth and
enormity
by a
silly, heavy accented gnomish Spanish swordsman’s somewhat comical
and
lustful advances towards a country wench. We can only hope that such a comical
country
fool as Costard, and this hideous declaration, would not haunt the audience
so
much as to prevent them the opportunity of enjoying a play of such enormous
comedic
and social entanglement. One might suggest that before
‘Honorificabilitudinitatibus’
is
spoken that the ushers pass out cotton balls to plug the ears so to reduce the influence
of
this panic inducing expression. The actors, in order to also prove not
disingenuous,
could
even hire someone with the skill of sign language so that when the not so insincere
Costard
steps up in act five, scene one to utter this hapax legomenon with amusing
intent,
the nimble handed interpreter attempting to stave off the immense power
of
Honorificabilitudinitatibus’, would strangle themselves in the process, moving
the audience
to
abruptly walk out, again forgetting their well spent coin. Can
‘Honorificabilitudinitatibus’
ever
be contained, will it ever be conquered or will all bow to its enormity?
Maybe
the King of Navaree should entrust the three noblemen with this colossal
task?
Yet-should they entreat themselves to this effort in the same hypocritical
manner
as they approached their oath about study Honorificabilitudinitatibus’
would
most likely lose it’s rare status as the starting point of a laughable
oration.
One can only feel pity for the sesquippedaliophobic audience
as
Costard steps to the centre of the stage, but then a stagehand might pull the
power
to
relieve the soon to be terrified spectators of this immense and powerful
conflagration
of all words. It could be that Holofernes and Sir Nathaniel, both enormous
fans
of schoolboy Latin and scholars extraordinaire, my be able to assist the
audience
by
orating more loudly, some short soliloquy as Costard makes his speech.
“Disingenuous”,
you
say?, “By no means”, says I. For it would possibly lead to a more comical
situation
as Costard attempts to continue his speech unabated.
*‘Honorificabilitudinitatibus’
has
been the power behind this sestina, yet though my concern is not insincere
for
the sesquippedaliophobic, I find enjoyment in the enormous comedic potential
in
an audience afraid of the word ‘Honorificabilitudinitatibus’.
*"O,
they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
I
marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
for
thou art not so long by the head as
honorificabilitudinitatibus:
thou art easier
swallowed
than a flap-dragon." - Costard, Love's Labour's Lost, Act V, Scene 1
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